This entire practicum, and whole year in fact, has been a completely new learning journey for me. I am in a program that is completely different from my four year undergrad. In this program, I love what I am learning about. This is very unusual when compared to what I was used to.
Now, I am completing my practicum and boy, is it different from what I am “used to”. I don’t want to go on any sort of rant, more a venting session. Teaching is a lot of work. There, I said it. Showing up at 8:25 when the kiddos get there and leaving at 2:35 after they’ve gone home really doesn’t encompass the time and energy required of teaching. Many, many hours are spent planning, reworking and modifying lesson plans to be sure that they gel well with one’s class. I am starting to realize, now that we are in our 3rd week, just how much work it is to teach 4/5 subjects in a day. The realization? A LOT. It’s a LOT of work.
I wear a retainer at night (maybe TMI? sorry) because my dentist thinks I grind my teeth and/or clench my jaw while I am sleeping. He believes this is the root cause of my overly sensitive teeth. Up until the end of last week, that was the only effect I’d noticed: tooth sensitivity. Now, now that I am in my 3rd week of practicum (and at the end of last week when I was prepping for this week) I have started to wake up with headaches if I don’t wear my retainer or I somehow take it out during the night. Can you say stress? I am stressed! Even if I don’t consciously think I am, my body is telling me I am. Headaches are nearly brand new to me, I rarely ever get headaches. And I hope and pray that this is not a lifetime thing!
Anyways. That’s that. Other than being subconsciously stressed, I am doing pretty well. I’ve always known about myself that when I mess up, make a mistake, or don’t do something as well as I would’ve liked I have a hard time letting it go. I am noticing this with my teaching as well, unfortunately. If a lesson doesn’t go “well” (whatever that means) I have a very difficult time not allowing it to ruin the rest of my day. I tend to feel as though I have failed, and it’s something that I have to continuously work at, and tell myself that it’s not the end of the world if my Social Studies lesson didn’t go as smoothly as it did in my head when I was planning it.
Let it go. My motto of the week.
Let it go.